Friday, November 9, 2012

here's hoping...

Well....haven't been on in a bit, so I have a little updating to do.
I got married in July. Yay!  We raised about $5,000. toward IVF treatment from our Jack n Jill and wedding gifts from our incredibly generous friends and family and in donations from people just wanting to help us out.!!  We are SO blessed and grateful!!!  However, we were still about $7,000-$10,000 in the red.  So, my husband and I applied and just got pre-approved for a medical loan to pay for the rest of our IVF! So now IVF is at the top of my To Do list... We had been making slow but steady progress, but nowm, it's full steam ahead...I hope.
I had my trial transfer done a few weeks ago.  And my day 3 blood work done this past Tuesday, thankfully before the snow storm hit. But yesterday I got a phone call from my nurse saying that my TSH level is elevated and although it's not uncommon, I had to go back for more blood work.  So I went last night and had more blood drawn and I got my "starter packet" with the IVF "handbook".  This seems like progress!  Praying that my blood work comes back ok and we can proceed...but this is progress.  And so out of nowhere, I had a breakdown in my car on the way home. (about a 45 minute trip)  Still trying to put my finger on WHY I'm so emotional, since I'm not on any meds yet!!  I guess it's the What If's. What if it doens't work....what if it DOES?!  What if my thyroid is a problem? And the release of 'this may finally be HAPPENING!'  And what am I gonna tell work?  And are my kids ok with all this??  And I'M TERRIFIED!  Kinda all hit me at once.
So, I got home and explained everything to my husband and we watched the instructional videos for injecting meds.  I read some of the "handbook" to him, about hormones and the retrieval process and recovery times and side effects and never ending injections and I started feeling aaaaall sorts of overwhelmed again.  meh.  One step at a time!  sigh  My husband gave me a big hug and said he is ready and willing to do whatever I need him to do in order to make this easier for me...I can't think of anything he can do at this point, but he really is a keeper!  I think he feels a little helpless in all this because most of it falls on me.  I'm so fortunate to have a best friend who has been through this, who (even when I act like a jerk) I can turn to and who is there for me.  <3  I'm SUPER thankful for that, cuz I'm gonna have A LOT of questions.  And I'm gonna need to hear, "it'll work. It'll be ok!"  A LOOOTT!
Anyway, now I've called and left a message for my nurse to let her know I've done my homework and I'm ready to go buy my ovulation predictor and providing my blood work is ok, I'm ready to get some patches ordered so I can start my first cycle. Can't wait for this stupid phone to ring!  Here's hoping!

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